Amiibo
by Megamixer50
Summary: Set just before the events of Super Smash Bros. Melee. Nintendo has recently put their newest next-gen invention to work, it's called Amiibo, and the Smash Team have been asked to test out the Amiibo. The team use this to their advantage and try to use the Amiibo to decide who is the greatest hero of all time! But what's happened to Mario? (M for sexual content, violence and gore)


"Alright lads?" said Wario as he strutted in proudly.  
"Hey Wario..." the others mumbled.  
"Why do you have that smug look on your face?" Dark Pit asked.  
"'Cause I just got laid!" he smirked. Everyone else put on a disgusted face and groaned.  
"Oh Jesus, we don't need the details Wario!" Falco sighed.  
"Yeah, we don't need to know about how you 'banged' Bowser's sister!" Pit laughed.  
"Wait, what?" Bowser butted in, startled.  
"Bowser has a sister?" Link asked.  
"Nah, guess again, virgins," Wario grinned.  
"Oh come on Wario, I bet you didn't even fuck her! You probably just farted in her mouth while she was sleeping!" Snake teased.  
"Piss off Bomberman!" Wario argued.  
"The fuck is that supposed to mean, fat-ass?" Snake shouted.  
"Oh dayum!" chuckled the others.  
"Well all you ever do is bomb people, talk on radios and piss others off, so you're basically like a rip-off of Bomberman!" Wario explained.  
"Face it dick-head, the only pussy you ever touched was your mum's when you were forcefully pulled out of it after getting stuck halfway through!" Sonic interrupted.  
"OH SHIT! HE GOT FUCKING REKT BRO!" everyone else screamed.  
"You want a fucking go bitch? I'll rip your balls off and toss 'em into acid!" Wario roared. He tried to catch Sonic but he was too fast and couldn't be caught. Wario chased him around the room for a while before tripping up.  
"Shit!" he said as he face-planted himself into the floor.

"Will you all shut the fuck up already?!" Ryu growled. Nobody was listening so he screamed again.  
"SILENCE!" he bellowed. Instantly, everyone shut up.  
"This was supposed to be a fucking lunch break before we resumed our meeting! We're supposed to be discussing Super Smash Bros. Melee! Who's going to be in it? Who's not? How will the game function on a next-gen system? WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING TO US?!" Ryu added, getting even more pissed off.  
"Well unfortunately for you bitch, we're too busy discussing who's the best hero here!" Ganondorf laughed. Ryu walked up to him, picked him up and pinned him to a wall.  
"Do you really want to fight me?" Ryu snarled.  
"'Oy, put him down, stop being such a dick Ryu!" Samus yelled. Everyone was silent for a few minutes after that, before Ryu spoke again.  
"Twat," he muttered.  
Ganondorf rolled his eyes and turned to Wario, saying, "I bet you never got laid Wario. Snake's right, you probably just farted on her and counted that as her licking your butt-edge." Luigi, who was previously listening from a corner, trying not to get involved, ran to a bin and vomited in it at the thought of Wario farting in a sleeping girl's mouth.

"Hey! What's going on here?" Peach, Rosalina, Palutena and Zelda asked in unison, running into the chaotic room.  
"Hey girls, where's Mario?" Ness asked, with Lucas nodding politely to greet them next to him.  
"He's still recovering from that incident. His Doctor clone is helping him and Yoshi is assisting Doctor Mario," Peach sighed. The others sighed and resumed their conversation.

"Look guys, Nintendo has just announced that they've begun development on this amazing next-gen technology called Amiibo, and they want to test it out. They say if we do a good job they may make some Smash-Exclusive Amiibo for our games! Why don't we use the Amiibo to fight and do our jobs for us, like real Smash Bros. adventures, and that will help us decide who is the greatest hero of all time!" Cloud suggested.  
"Great idea" Marth agreed.  
"Shut it, gay hair," Wario rudely interrupted.  
"Hey, fuck off you homophobe!" Ike argued back.  
"Oh please don't start again," Luigi moaned.  
"Alright bitches, you've got yourselves a deal. We each receive one Amiibo from Nintendo that replicates us in every thinkable way, we train them all to their highest levels and then set them off on a big adventure to do our jobs for us! Perhaps we'll finally get a break after that!" Snake smirked.

"Let's do this," Wario replied, reluctantly shaking Snake's hand.

* * *

 **23 Hours Later...**

"Yes! We finally got them!" Sonic exclaimed, unboxing his shiny Amiibo.  
"So how do we summon them?" Lucas and Samus asked.  
"I think we have to throw them up into the air as high as we can. If the Amiibo lands with its stand flat on a surface, we've done it right," Pit answered.  
"Well then let's do it! There's no time to lose and we've got an adventure to set up!" Fox responded.  
"3... 2... 1... THROW!" Everyone shouted in unison, before tossing their Amiibos into the air as high as possible. Luckily, they all landing on their stands on the first attempt. Suddenly, everything faded into a blinding white light, and when things became visible again, the Amiibo Clones were all there, standing proudly, waiting for some commands.  
"Yes!" Rosalina laughed.

And so the battle begins,


End file.
